nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
