when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
