Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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