I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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