I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
