She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Someone shattered a urinal.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize