physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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