I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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