Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
