There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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