I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
