she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
