so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Slut skills are useful in every country.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
