No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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