This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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