We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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