that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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