im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
