I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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