A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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