His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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