She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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