it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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