What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
