never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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