I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
