The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
