my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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