I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
