i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
