So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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