the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
third nipple confirmed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
