I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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