well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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