2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
