i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
