did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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