Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
