so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
