Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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