Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
