Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
