At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
