You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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