You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
