I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
