I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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