Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
