had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
