She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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