:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
