Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

my mouth tastes like poor choices

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(614): View more from Ohio

this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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(605): View more from South Dakota

So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

(720): View more from Colorado

This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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(708): View more from Illinois

what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?

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(954): View more from Florida

aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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(801): View more from Utah

I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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(618): View more from Illinois

all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me

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