none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
