I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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