Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
