we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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