just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
