so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
