She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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