check it out our google latitudes are spooning
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Of course I have a pirate flag
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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