Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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