I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
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At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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