I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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